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I Wrote This To A Ghost

by Marco Aziel

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traveling
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traveling Such an incredible mix of raw emotions and quality music. To be bold, it sounds like Conor Oberst joined Andrew Bird and turned the band emo. In a very good way. Favorite track: George Orwell Was A Prophet.
Salem Batayeh
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Salem Batayeh i am not insane Favorite track: Wanted You To Know.
Chris Creguer
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Chris Creguer Amazing album. Thanks for making such great music. Favorite track: Wanted You To Know.
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1.
I always wish I could be honest I'm always scared of what might happen It's difficult in part 'cause it is hard to know the truth And it's difficult in part 'cause it's a stupid thing to do But everyone deserves to feel wanted when they're wanted So I wanted you to know I wanted you to know That everyone deserves to feel wanted when they're wanted So I wanted you to know I wanted you to know I wanted you I wanted you to know I wanted you to know me I don't think anybody does And I thought with you that maybe I could feel more like a person than I have in recent memory It just sucks 'Cause it looks so good in theory But it never would have worked I'm just not that kinda person Yeah, still such a coward And I'm only getting worse But God knows I need the distraction Yeah I'd start feeling distant And you'd feel like I used you And we'd both lose our patience And I don't wanna lose you What's the point in taking chances? The results remain the same That's the definition of insanity And I am not insane I am not insane (I am not insane) Everyone deserves to feel wanted when they're wanted (I am not insane) So I wanted you to know I wanted you to know (I am not insane) Yeah everyone deserves to feel wanted when they're wanted (I am not insane) So I wanted you to know I wanted you to know I wanted you
2.
My bedroom windows face the east Clear skies, no blinds It's filling up with heat The nightmares I can handle But it's getting hard to breathe It's getting hard to breathe Yeah, I still had a good time Though I spent the end of the night in the bathroom Hugging the toilet Like my best friend Like I really missed it I woke up soaked in sweat and daylight It's almost one The whole morning's gone to waste I had so many things I wanted to get done To make it worse Fell asleep in my jacket over hoodie over shirt So when you walk into my room See the couch, ask me, "Is that where you sleep?" And I say, "Yeah, I used to" You say, "What do you mean?" I say, "I stopped" You say, "What for?" I say, "I stopped falling out of my bed When I started sleeping on the floor" I woke up soaked in sweat and daylight It's almost one The whole morning's gone to waste I had so many things I wanted to get done To make it worse Fell asleep in my jacket over hoodie over shirt I woke up soaked in sweat and daylight It's almost one The whole morning's gone to waste I had so many things I wanted to get done To make it worse Fell asleep in my jacket over hoodie over shirt
3.
Loose Ends 03:17
If I slap the bass Then I can't play the guitar If I play the drums I can't sing 'cause I'll be concentrating too hard Well opportunity cost has got me all fucked up again I'm not leaving any loose ends How many faces have I seen? How many names have I heard? How many names and faces Were pairs that belonged to the same person That I just never put together? Well I probably should have made more friends in high school Well opportunity cost has got me all fucked up again I'm not leaving any loose ends I'm gonna finish the job I've got so much unfinished business I just can't stick to one thing for long And these loose ends I've got these loose ends I'm gonna tie them off Well opportunity cost has got me all fucked in the head I'm not leaving any loose ends I'm gonna finish the job I've got so much unfinished business 'Cause I just can't stick to one thing for long And these loose ends I've got these loose ends You see these loose ends I'm gonna cut them off
4.
Don't deny it, you felt that You ignore it, but for a second You were thinking about gambling And you can't tell if it feels right It's confusing because sometimes It's more the moment (It's more the moment) Than the person (Than the person) And she knows I'm only thinking about one thing (And I know he's only thinking about one thing) And I know she's only thinking about one thing (And he knows I'm only thinking about one thing) Make my bet and hold my breath My hands are sweating Now there's no more starting over One card poker Is he staring, is he glancing? Do you wanna take your chances You were thinking about gambling And you can't tell if it feels right It's confusing because sometimes It's more the moment Than the person And she knows I'm only thinking about one thing (And I know he's only thinking about one thing) And I know she's only thinking about one thing (And he knows I'm only thinking about one thing) Make my bet and hold my breath My hands are sweating Now there's no more starting over One card poker All in Call or raise or fold Put your money where your mouth is Let's see how our chances hold up She knows I'm only thinking about one thing (I know he's only thinking about one thing) And I know she's only thinking about one thing (And he knows I'm only thinking about one thing) Make my bet and hold my breath My hands are sweating Now there's no more starting over One card poker All in Call or raise or fold Put your money where your mouth is Let's see how our chances hold up
5.
So I'm supposed to get a real job I'll go get my associate's And I'll rack up that student debt And I'm supposed to work 'for experience' They say, "Kids are entitled, They want everything for free" Well what got them corporate pricks Thinking they're entitled to me? Well everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!) Yeah everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!) So let's all sit here on our asses Eyes fixed on the tv Where everyone is talking And nobody is listening So pick a side and cross your fingers Cheer on your team, you can't afford to play But our government is a great spectator sport And everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!) Yeah everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!) Now politicians aren't evil They're just good at their jobs Yeah they're good at taking money Good at selling our laws Good at making something happen If they're making something off it We're all fucked And George Orwell was a prophet Well everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!) Yeah everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!)
6.
Do me a favor if you could Don't let me get my hopes up I've been dreaming of you too much Shouldn't hurt but it does And I'm guilty as charged We're going straight to the back of my car Where I will stake out a claim in your heart And I will hate myself in the morning For being so pathetic Don't knock if you don't want in You can't just stand there in the doorway 'Cause this February air is freezing Shouldn't hurt but it does And I'm guilty as charged We're going straight to the back of my car Where I will stake out a claim in your heart And I will hate myself in the morning For being so pathetic Shouldn't hurt but it does And I'm guilty as charged We're going straight to the back of my car Where I will stake out a claim in your heart And I will hate myself in the morning For being so pathetic We're going straight to the back of my car Where I will stake out a claim in your heart And I will hate myself in the morning For being so pathetic
7.
I'm trying to be okay with The shape my life has taken The mistakes that I am making They told me that God had a plan Well she didn't fill me in So I'm sorry if I'm not on track I'm doing the best that I can God had a plan for me So did my parents and family So did my friends So did my doctors, teachers and counselors Everyone I ever met They all had a plan for me So I tell myself tomorrow Will be worth tonight I know it won't but It helps to lie It helps to lie to yourself sometimes So I'm sorry if I'm not on track I'm doing the best that I can God had a plan for me So did my parents and family So did my friends So did my doctors, teachers and counselors Everyone I ever met They all had a plan for me God had a plan for me So did my parents and family So did my friends So did my doctors, teachers and counselors Everyone I ever met I'm doing the best that I can 'Cause they all had a plan for me
8.
Does it make it okay If I say that I'm sorry And I tell you what I meant to say? Does it make it okay if I smile and I wave? Do I sing with my eyes closed? Do I sing through my teeth? Do I look to the side with that white knuckle grip on the strings? I'm embarrassed to play 'cause I'm scared of the ghost in the room Is it all in my head? Does that make it okay if it's all in my head? Does that make it okay if it's all in my head? Am I crazy? Is this normal? Does that make it okay if it's normal? I mean maybe Who's to say? I don't care what you think You can come to my shows You can like all my tweets You can buy all my merch If I can't get the sounds and the pictures and words And I can't write them down It's all worthless Doesn't matter who hears it It's not an insult or a compliment I'm just getting it out of my system Until then I'm only singing to get it all out of my head 'Cause it's all in my head Does that make it okay if it's all in my head? Does that make it okay if it's all in my head? Am I crazy? Is this normal? Does that make it okay if it's normal? I mean maybe Who's to say? Who's to say? Who's to say? Who's to say? Who's to say?
9.
Pep Talk 04:00
Another bathroom mirror staredown pep talk Whisper and repeat these words, "I love myself, I love myself, I love myself (Let's see if this works)" It's an instant, then it's history And it's ruined when it hits me I'm the only one silent in a room full of screaming people No one knows you're freaking out Find a quiet place to lay down and Breathe in, breathe out It's just a test of mental strength Shut your eyes and watch your worst mistakes Like instant replay I feel so alive and terrified One day I won't remember Maybe one day I'll learn to accept that nothing lasts forever First I'm happy then I'm sad 'Cause I'll never get that moment back The only one screaming in a room full of silent people No one knows you're freaking out Find a quiet place to lay down and Breathe in, breathe out It's just a test of mental strength Now that everyone is listening I don't know what to say Why? I'm having the time of my life Why am I always reminding myself that Tomorrow it'll be gone? Why? I'm having the time of my life And I feel so alone like it's already over So vulnerable, I just want to go home I just want to go home No one knows you're freaking out Find a quiet place to lay down and Breathe in, breathe out It's just a test of mental strength Now that everyone is listening I don't know what to say
10.
I hate myself every morning From the moment I jump out of bed When I look at the screen Says it's now 10:15 Second time this week I'm late to work again So I clock in at 10:35 And everyone thought I was high Of course it's the day that I have another shift later So I hate myself every night When I know I should just go to sleep I should turn off the lights Lay down close my eyes There's no reason why I don't even have insomnia When it felt like I made another promise I'd break I really expected to hate myself in the morning But I didn't hate myself in the morning Not for that, anyway And that's fine 'cause at least It's not another increase to the number of reasons I hate myself every morning I had fun at the show I felt good even though I couldn't get any of my friends to go But I thought I was okay 'Til I hated myself in the morning But I'm not surprised or amazed No I don't give a fuck Chalk another one up To the number of reasons I hate myself every morning And I hate myself for destroying My own mental health I swear all of my problems Are probably caused by Sleep deprivation And I'm still awake And I hate, and I hate, and I hate myself every morning I hate myself every morning From the moment I jump out of bed When I look at the screen Says it's now 10:15 It's the third time this week That I'm late to work again
11.
Gravity is a bitch People are like black holes Event horizons on our skin Isolation is universal For so long Had no idea where I was I looked up Saw your face and I thought Do the words have a different meaning now Though the lyrics haven't changed? I wonder what goes through your head when you hear my name Which things do you remember first, what impact did I make? For so long Had no idea where I was I looked up Saw your face and I thought Do the words have a different meaning now Though the lyrics haven't changed? Maybe I Maybe I ended up in the right place after all In the right place after all Maybe I Maybe I ended up in the right place after all In the right place after all Maybe I Maybe I ended up in the right place after all In the right place after all Maybe I Maybe I ended up in the right place after all In the right place after all
12.
I think it's time to get the fuck out of my car You've bummed like twenty cigarettes and if you ask for one more I'm gonna punch your fucking teeth in I'm sick of your complaining I know it's you my best friend's asshole boyfriend cheated on her with So I think it's time to get the fuck out of my car And most the time I pride myself on patience But tonight it's wearing thin So it's time for you to get The fuck out of my car
13.
The harder you squeeze The more likely to burst The harder you love The deeper it hurts You always said "Proud but not surprised" Look at me now, you must be Shocked and unimpressed And now I'm all depressed They say "Quit while you're ahead" So I'm trying to decide Should I just give it up already? Will I never learn to use the hands you gave me? The reality is these aren't your choices to make We start at either end We come to the same place You always said "Proud but not surprised" Look at me now, you must be Shocked and unimpressed And now I'm all depressed They say "Quit while you're ahead" So I'm trying to decide Should I just give it up already? Will I never learn to use the hands you gave me? I've got a voice in the back of my head It's making it painfully clear Whatever I came looking for I'm never gonna find it here I've got a voice in the back of my head And it's making it painfully clear Whatever I came looking for I'm never gonna find it here You always said "Proud but not surprised" Look at me now, you must be Shocked and unimpressed And now I'm all depressed They say "Quit while you're ahead" So I'm trying to decide Should I just give it up already? Will I never learn to use the hands you gave me? The hands you gave me The hands you gave me The hands you gave me
14.
Oh, I'm nothing special And knowing that don't make me special either So what can I say to you To make this song worth listening to? Nothing, I'm just talking to myself here If I play the same instrument And I play the same chords And I sing in the same language Using the same words What have I to contribute? And I guess it's kinda stupid To think I'd be this person forever Maybe it's my ego I'll be so many people before I die And I thought I had discovered Something incredibly important And now I'm feeling foolish 'Cause you already knew this Yeah you already knew That I'm nothing special And knowing that don't make me special either So what can I say to you To make this song worth listening to? Nothing, I'm just talking to myself here

about

I wrote this for February Album Writing Month 2016. I recorded demo's of these songs as I wrote them, all of which are available for free download from Soundcloud. All songs were written between February 1st and 12th, and are arranged in the order I wrote them. All tracks (aside from a few drum tracks) were recorded between February 25th and 26th with the help of two Five Hour Energy's and sleep deprivation.

credits

released February 27, 2016

All songs written, performed, recorded and mixed by Marco Aziel
Trumpet on track 3 by Kyle Cooley of Worst Case Scenario
Additional vocals on track 4 by Kaitlyn Omalley
Accordion on track 14 by Isaac Trevino

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Marco Aziel Ypsilanti, Michigan

a human being. this is my solo work. newer things over at kissyourfriends.bandcamp.com <3

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