Explains Himself

by Marco Aziel

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1.
Disassemble 01:46
The truth is that truth is useless It's not as tangible as fact Not so simple and dramatic So let's compare and contrast the truth with the facts Until it's too hard to understand love or empathize with anybody because It's all algebra to me Compelled by a tendency to disassemble everything And now that it's over I can say that I called it Predict that you'll fuck up You can claim you're a prophet I feel like a dick now For writing these words down For having these feelings Still fucking the new girl But I still think about you whenever I'm alone Now this house feels haunted when nobody's home And I suspect you know the feeling Hardly ever sleeping Staring at the ceiling in my room I miss you when I drink but I miss you when I'm sober Miss you in my sleep and I miss you hung over And I miss you every day I miss you every night Yeah I miss you when I listen to Allison Weiss I think about you all the fucking time
2.
Sweet Tooth 01:00
I don't believe in ones and onlys Or toxic fairy tale love stories They're all unhealthy and they fuckin bore me so So I don't I don't wanna read the words "Be Mine" I ain't your valentine Those candy hearts inscribed serve as a sharp reminder That as much as I'd like to I could never satisfy your sweet tooth
3.
Sometimes I think indecision is the only thing that's keepin me alive Cuz I can't decide if I wanna kill myself or if I just wanna die Cuz there is a difference Yeah there is a fine line How many times must I have this conversation? You make me question my existence every time you keep insistin "Baby, you'll be famous" So what if I will? Is celebrity magic? Will is fill this void and break my self destructive habits?
4.
Guest Check 02:19
Wrote this song on a guest check at work As you walk in through the door on my first night shift in months I guess I was just unprepared When you pass by the cash register We trade glances hardly sayin a word But your look that split second the blacks of our eyes meet could rip me in half where I stand it reminds me The first time I saw you Asleep at your desk Should've woken you up What if that's how we met? But how fitting I didn't I just packed up and left you A stranger asleep at her desk And again on the stairs at your choir recital You call out my name and I turn and you smile And then in my room So scared I would bore you You mumbled "It's fine, cuz I fucking adore you" Could've killed me to hear you say And if it actually did And if that were the last thought to run through my brain before death I wouldn't complain
5.
This Shit 00:54
This shit is awesome This shit is rad This shit is dope as hell This shit's the best shit that I have ever had This shit is sick This shit is hype This shit is twisted This shit is tight This shit's bananas This shit goes hard This shit is absolutely batshit crazy This shit is off the charts This shit is fat This shit is way huge This shit is massive This shit is fuckin schley, dude
6.
Don't wanna ruin your night But by now you know it was a big mistake to invite me over Cuz I can't get a grip I don't have the traction Some nights any sort of social interaction could spin me out I wish I knew how to calm the fuck down without attracting such attention to myself and bummin everyone out I know that I should just leave But if I went home now I probly couldn't sleep and I don't wanna be alone I don't wanna be alone So let's just try to relax Take a pull on the Jack Inhibitions are funny, sometimes they fight back It's a downward spiral A bird's eye view toilet A party with best friends, why can't I enjoy it?
7.
I told myself tonight before I left that this was it I'll get made up n slap on a smile and this time it's gonna stick I will be bursting with charisma I'm the life of the party I'm the person everybody wants to hang around Oh what a joke! I am so sorry if I forget your name You see I'm chronically incapable of retaining anything Because I'm constantly inventing stupid conflicts in my head 'Til I'm too stressed out to focus on a single word you said And now I'm frozen up It's like my mouth's sewn shut by the inertia The inertia of the situation I'm fuckin spacin I'm spacin out I'm spacin out
8.
Straight Up 01:21
I gotta be straight up Either I don't feel love or my idea of it is pretty sick And jealousy doesn't make sense to me But as friends I think we kinda click So you do you And I'll do me I don't need a proper lover But I think you're cute Yeah I think you're sweet And maybe we could do each other
9.
We all got weaknesses And we all got strengths We all got things to cope with And we got ways to cope with them And I hate society I hate every little thing about it I hate money And you might say that without it there would be no more guitars to play And now punk shows Well we wouldn't need this It's just how we deal with civilization And I'd trade it in an instant if undeserving people would stop acting like they earned all of the power that they wield Oh and I hate wall street I hate the advertising industry I hate media companies But more that anything I hate myself for bein complacent I'm just complainin as if that's gonna change this
10.
Work Clothes 03:21
There's no such thing as a fresh start or a clean break When your friends all say that you've changed They don't know you They don't know that you have always been this way So hold onto the people who believe you aren't insane like your life depends on it Cuz it does Haunted by the feeling there's a right way to do things And it will elude me forever If it ain't perfect then it ain't worth it There's gotta be something that's better I'm still wearin my work clothes Confusing my roommates Haven't been home in a few days This is practice for the asskick that I know is coming my way
11.
This story is classic It is textbook fear of attachment after a breakup Follow the trend that I'll drift away from my closest friends and they'll think I hate them So my dearest, I think of you often and fondly I swear I would call you but there's something that stops me It's irrational I know Every time I pick up the phone I'll think that you've got better things to do than hang with me so I'll leave you alone And I wanna claw my watering eyes out every time I open my mouth Just to choke on the words as they reverse back through my throat Return to the black hole in my head where they'll echo It's relentless They will circle like sharks When I cry there's no catharsis And the waves I expected to rock me to sleep escalate They turn against me I'm confessing my fragility I've been floating on the surface Where it hurts less Where it's easy to ignore my own contents But I can't contain this anymore I can't contain this anymore
12.
Flake Out 02:34
If you love me tell me now Let me dispel any illusion you may have that I am different and that I won't let you down Cuz I will Yeah I will I will flake out I will break your heart if you let me I will sabotage every good thing It is damn near systematic how I replaced my few good habits with a multitude of bad ones And I'll wallow in self pity On every car ride And I will stress eat And I'll just get high when I'm unhappy And never ask why it isn't helping I made a list of all the things I wanna fix about myself It's pretty long Cuz most of what people call prayers now were first written as songs So I'll repeat it 'til I believe it 'Til I forgive myself for all that I've done wrong I'm investing time and effort into making my life better
13.
Minivan 03:14
You poke your head through the sunroof So you can watch the sunset I'll admit there are moments that make everything worth it But it makes me suspicious that my brain isn't workin Like when I'm happy it could only mean I'm forgettin somethin And the thing I think that makes it magic is the simple fact that we didn't plan it I don't ever wanna forget this We got music, we got gas And I'll bet this minivan could function pretty well as a bunkbed So before I second guess this Would someone please just look up the directions Wear this blanket like a cape It is such a beautiful thing to feel like a total dumbass And not hate yourself for it for once Can you see this? If we just lie here Focus on one star, the whole sky will disappear I've never seen em quite as bright as they are now Each one of a kind Yeah they're brilliant and dying Melt my brain down Let the molecules rearrange themselves It don't matter if it won't last Just let me have this
14.
MDRICWSHAC 02:07
Medium dark roast iced coffee with sweet hazelnut and cream

about

This album was written between 2/1 and 2/24 for February Album Writing Month 2017. It's entirely self produced and was recorded over a series of 3 consecutive all-nighters.

I think it's pretty neat. I hope you like it.

credits

released March 10, 2017

Bass on track 2 by Travis Anderson of Daddy and the Long Legs
Additional vocals on track 4 by Chase Macinski of Dogleg
Electric guitar on tracks 10 and 11 by Kyle McFarland of Swordfish
Electric guitar on track 13 by Angelo Chavez of Welman
Gang vocals (and claps) by people I love

Recorded by Marco Aziel and Travis Anderson
Mixed and mastered by Marco Aziel

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Marco Aziel Ypsilanti, Michigan

a human being. Solo project of the them from Daddy and the Long Legs

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