I Wrote This To A Ghost

by Marco Aziel

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_guitarist18_ Such an incredible mix of raw emotions and quality music. To be bold, it sounds like Conor Oberst joined Andrew Bird and turned the band emo. In a very good way. Favorite track: George Orwell Was A Prophet.
Salem Batayeh
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Salem Batayeh i am not insane Favorite track: Wanted You To Know.
Chris Creguer
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Chris Creguer Amazing album. Thanks for making such great music. Favorite track: Wanted You To Know.
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about

I wrote this for February Album Writing Month 2016. I recorded demo's of these songs as I wrote them, all of which are available for free download from Soundcloud. All songs were written between February 1st and 12th, and are arranged in the order I wrote them. All tracks (aside from a few drum tracks) were recorded between February 25th and 26th with the help of two Five Hour Energy's and sleep deprivation.

credits

released February 27, 2016

All songs written, performed, recorded and mixed by Marco Aziel
Trumpet on track 3 by Kyle Cooley of Worst Case Scenario
Additional vocals on track 4 by Kaitlyn Omalley
Accordion on track 14 by Isaac Trevino

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all rights reserved

about

Marco Aziel Ypsilanti, Michigan

The introspective indie/punk solo project of that guy in Daddy and the Long Legs. Wanna get in touch? info at marcoaziel dot com

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Track Name: Wanted You To Know
I always wish I could be honest
I'm always scared of what might happen
It's difficult in part 'cause it is hard to know the truth
And it's difficult in part 'cause it's a stupid thing to do
But everyone deserves to feel wanted when they're wanted
So I wanted you to know
I wanted you to know
That everyone deserves to feel wanted when they're wanted
So I wanted you to know
I wanted you to know I wanted you

I wanted you to know
I wanted you to know me
I don't think anybody does
And I thought with you that maybe
I could feel more like a person than I have in recent memory
It just sucks
'Cause it looks so good in theory
But it never would have worked
I'm just not that kinda person
Yeah, still such a coward
And I'm only getting worse
But God knows I need the distraction

Yeah I'd start feeling distant
And you'd feel like I used you
And we'd both lose our patience
And I don't wanna lose you
What's the point in taking chances?
The results remain the same
That's the definition of insanity
And I am not insane
I am not insane

(I am not insane)
Everyone deserves to feel wanted when they're wanted
(I am not insane)
So I wanted you to know
I wanted you to know
(I am not insane)
Yeah everyone deserves to feel wanted when they're wanted
(I am not insane)
So I wanted you to know
I wanted you to know I wanted you
Track Name: Jacket Over Hoodie Over Shirt
My bedroom windows face the east
Clear skies, no blinds
It's filling up with heat
The nightmares I can handle
But it's getting hard to breathe
It's getting hard to breathe

Yeah, I still had a good time
Though I spent the end of the night in the bathroom
Hugging the toilet
Like my best friend
Like I really missed it

I woke up soaked in sweat and daylight
It's almost one
The whole morning's gone to waste
I had so many things I wanted to get done
To make it worse
Fell asleep in my jacket over hoodie over shirt

So when you walk into my room
See the couch, ask me,
"Is that where you sleep?"
And I say, "Yeah, I used to"
You say, "What do you mean?"
I say, "I stopped"
You say, "What for?"
I say, "I stopped falling out of my bed
When I started sleeping on the floor"

I woke up soaked in sweat and daylight
It's almost one
The whole morning's gone to waste
I had so many things I wanted to get done
To make it worse
Fell asleep in my jacket over hoodie over shirt

I woke up soaked in sweat and daylight
It's almost one
The whole morning's gone to waste
I had so many things I wanted to get done
To make it worse
Fell asleep in my jacket over hoodie over shirt
Track Name: Loose Ends
If I slap the bass
Then I can't play the guitar
If I play the drums
I can't sing 'cause I'll be concentrating too hard
Well opportunity cost has got me all fucked up again
I'm not leaving any loose ends

How many faces have I seen?
How many names have I heard?
How many names and faces
Were pairs that belonged to the same person
That I just never put together?
Well I probably should have made more friends in high school

Well opportunity cost has got me all fucked up again
I'm not leaving any loose ends
I'm gonna finish the job
I've got so much unfinished business
I just can't stick to one thing for long
And these loose ends
I've got these loose ends
I'm gonna tie them off

Well opportunity cost has got me all fucked in the head
I'm not leaving any loose ends
I'm gonna finish the job
I've got so much unfinished business
'Cause I just can't stick to one thing for long
And these loose ends
I've got these loose ends
You see these loose ends
I'm gonna cut them off
Track Name: One Card Poker
Don't deny it, you felt that
You ignore it, but for a second
You were thinking about gambling
And you can't tell if it feels right
It's confusing because sometimes
It's more the moment (It's more the moment)
Than the person (Than the person)

And she knows I'm only thinking about one thing
(And I know he's only thinking about one thing)
And I know she's only thinking about one thing
(And he knows I'm only thinking about one thing)
Make my bet and hold my breath
My hands are sweating
Now there's no more starting over
One card poker

Is he staring, is he glancing?
Do you wanna take your chances
You were thinking about gambling
And you can't tell if it feels right
It's confusing because sometimes
It's more the moment
Than the person

And she knows I'm only thinking about one thing
(And I know he's only thinking about one thing)
And I know she's only thinking about one thing
(And he knows I'm only thinking about one thing)
Make my bet and hold my breath
My hands are sweating
Now there's no more starting over
One card poker
All in
Call or raise or fold
Put your money where your mouth is
Let's see how our chances hold up

She knows I'm only thinking about one thing
(I know he's only thinking about one thing)
And I know she's only thinking about one thing
(And he knows I'm only thinking about one thing)
Make my bet and hold my breath
My hands are sweating
Now there's no more starting over
One card poker
All in
Call or raise or fold
Put your money where your mouth is
Let's see how our chances hold up
Track Name: George Orwell Was A Prophet
So I'm supposed to get a real job
I'll go get my associate's
And I'll rack up that student debt
And I'm supposed to work 'for experience'
They say, "Kids are entitled,
They want everything for free"
Well what got them corporate pricks
Thinking they're entitled to me?

Well everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!)
Yeah everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!)

So let's all sit here on our asses
Eyes fixed on the tv
Where everyone is talking
And nobody is listening
So pick a side and cross your fingers
Cheer on your team, you can't afford to play
But our government is a great spectator sport

And everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!)
Yeah everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!)

Now politicians aren't evil
They're just good at their jobs
Yeah they're good at taking money
Good at selling our laws
Good at making something happen
If they're making something off it
We're all fucked
And George Orwell was a prophet

Well everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!)
Yeah everybody thinks they've got the answers (Hey!)
Track Name: Guilty As Charged
Do me a favor if you could
Don't let me get my hopes up
I've been dreaming of you too much

Shouldn't hurt but it does
And I'm guilty as charged

We're going straight to the back of my car
Where I will stake out a claim in your heart
And I will hate myself in the morning
For being so pathetic

Don't knock if you don't want in
You can't just stand there in the doorway
'Cause this February air is freezing

Shouldn't hurt but it does
And I'm guilty as charged

We're going straight to the back of my car
Where I will stake out a claim in your heart
And I will hate myself in the morning
For being so pathetic

Shouldn't hurt but it does
And I'm guilty as charged

We're going straight to the back of my car
Where I will stake out a claim in your heart
And I will hate myself in the morning
For being so pathetic

We're going straight to the back of my car
Where I will stake out a claim in your heart
And I will hate myself in the morning
For being so pathetic
Track Name: God Had A Plan
I'm trying to be okay with
The shape my life has taken
The mistakes that I am making
They told me that God had a plan
Well she didn't fill me in

So I'm sorry if I'm not on track
I'm doing the best that I can

God had a plan for me
So did my parents and family
So did my friends
So did my doctors, teachers and counselors
Everyone I ever met
They all had a plan for me

So I tell myself tomorrow
Will be worth tonight
I know it won't but
It helps to lie
It helps to lie to yourself sometimes

So I'm sorry if I'm not on track
I'm doing the best that I can

God had a plan for me
So did my parents and family
So did my friends
So did my doctors, teachers and counselors
Everyone I ever met
They all had a plan for me

God had a plan for me
So did my parents and family
So did my friends
So did my doctors, teachers and counselors
Everyone I ever met
I'm doing the best that I can
'Cause they all had a plan for me
Track Name: (I Wrote This To A) Ghost
Does it make it okay
If I say that I'm sorry
And I tell you what I meant to say?
Does it make it okay if I smile and I wave?
Do I sing with my eyes closed?
Do I sing through my teeth?
Do I look to the side with that white knuckle grip on the strings?
I'm embarrassed to play 'cause I'm scared of the ghost in the room

Is it all in my head?
Does that make it okay if it's all in my head?
Does that make it okay if it's all in my head?
Am I crazy?
Is this normal?
Does that make it okay if it's normal?
I mean maybe
Who's to say?

I don't care what you think
You can come to my shows
You can like all my tweets
You can buy all my merch
If I can't get the sounds and the pictures and words
And I can't write them down
It's all worthless
Doesn't matter who hears it
It's not an insult or a compliment
I'm just getting it out of my system
Until then
I'm only singing to get it all out of my head


'Cause it's all in my head
Does that make it okay if it's all in my head?
Does that make it okay if it's all in my head?
Am I crazy?
Is this normal?
Does that make it okay if it's normal?
I mean maybe
Who's to say?
Who's to say?
Who's to say?
Who's to say?
Who's to say?
Track Name: Pep Talk
Another bathroom mirror staredown pep talk
Whisper and repeat these words,
"I love myself, I love myself, I love myself
(Let's see if this works)"
It's an instant, then it's history
And it's ruined when it hits me
I'm the only one silent in a room full of screaming people

No one knows you're freaking out
Find a quiet place to lay down and
Breathe in, breathe out
It's just a test of mental strength
Shut your eyes and watch your worst mistakes
Like instant replay

I feel so alive and terrified
One day I won't remember
Maybe one day I'll learn to accept that nothing lasts forever
First I'm happy then I'm sad
'Cause I'll never get that moment back
The only one screaming in a room full of silent people

No one knows you're freaking out
Find a quiet place to lay down and
Breathe in, breathe out
It's just a test of mental strength
Now that everyone is listening
I don't know what to say

Why?
I'm having the time of my life
Why am I always reminding myself that
Tomorrow it'll be gone?
Why?
I'm having the time of my life
And I feel so alone like it's already over
So vulnerable, I just want to go home
I just want to go home

No one knows you're freaking out
Find a quiet place to lay down and
Breathe in, breathe out
It's just a test of mental strength
Now that everyone is listening
I don't know what to say
Track Name: Late To Work Again
I hate myself every morning
From the moment I jump out of bed
When I look at the screen
Says it's now 10:15
Second time this week
I'm late to work again

So I clock in at 10:35
And everyone thought I was high
Of course it's the day that I have another shift later

So I hate myself every night
When I know I should just go to sleep
I should turn off the lights
Lay down close my eyes
There's no reason why
I don't even have insomnia

When it felt like I made
another promise I'd break
I really expected to hate myself in the morning

But I didn't hate myself in the morning
Not for that, anyway
And that's fine 'cause at least
It's not another increase to the number of reasons
I hate myself every morning

I had fun at the show
I felt good even though
I couldn't get any of my friends to go
But I thought I was okay

'Til I hated myself in the morning
But I'm not surprised or amazed
No I don't give a fuck
Chalk another one up
To the number of reasons I hate myself every morning

And I hate myself for destroying
My own mental health
I swear all of my problems
Are probably caused by
Sleep deprivation
And I'm still awake
And I hate, and I hate, and I hate myself every morning

I hate myself every morning
From the moment I jump out of bed
When I look at the screen
Says it's now 10:15
It's the third time this week
That I'm late to work again
Track Name: Event Horizons
Gravity is a bitch
People are like black holes
Event horizons on our skin
Isolation is universal

For so long
Had no idea where I was
I looked up
Saw your face and I thought
Do the words have a different meaning now
Though the lyrics haven't changed?

I wonder what goes through your head when you hear my name
Which things do you remember first, what impact did I make?

For so long
Had no idea where I was
I looked up
Saw your face and I thought
Do the words have a different meaning now
Though the lyrics haven't changed?

Maybe I
Maybe I ended up in the right place after all
In the right place after all
Maybe I
Maybe I ended up in the right place after all
In the right place after all

Maybe I
Maybe I ended up in the right place after all
In the right place after all
Maybe I
Maybe I ended up in the right place after all
In the right place after all
Track Name: I Get It, You Listen To Obscure Bands
I think it's time to get the fuck out of my car
You've bummed like twenty cigarettes and if you ask for one more
I'm gonna punch your fucking teeth in
I'm sick of your complaining
I know it's you my best friend's asshole boyfriend cheated on her with
So I think it's time to get the fuck out of my car

And most the time I pride myself on patience
But tonight it's wearing thin
So it's time for you to get
The fuck out of my car
Track Name: The Hands You Gave Me
The harder you squeeze
The more likely to burst
The harder you love
The deeper it hurts

You always said
"Proud but not surprised"
Look at me now, you must be
Shocked and unimpressed
And now I'm all depressed
They say "Quit while you're ahead"
So I'm trying to decide
Should I just give it up already?
Will I never learn to use the hands you gave me?

The reality is these aren't your choices to make
We start at either end
We come to the same place

You always said
"Proud but not surprised"
Look at me now, you must be
Shocked and unimpressed
And now I'm all depressed
They say "Quit while you're ahead"
So I'm trying to decide
Should I just give it up already?
Will I never learn to use the hands you gave me?

I've got a voice in the back of my head
It's making it painfully clear
Whatever I came looking for I'm never gonna find it here
I've got a voice in the back of my head
And it's making it painfully clear
Whatever I came looking for I'm never gonna find it here

You always said
"Proud but not surprised"
Look at me now, you must be
Shocked and unimpressed
And now I'm all depressed
They say "Quit while you're ahead"
So I'm trying to decide
Should I just give it up already?
Will I never learn to use the hands you gave me?
The hands you gave me
The hands you gave me
The hands you gave me
Track Name: You Already Knew
Oh, I'm nothing special
And knowing that don't make me special either
So what can I say to you
To make this song worth listening to?
Nothing, I'm just talking to myself here

If I play the same instrument
And I play the same chords
And I sing in the same language
Using the same words
What have I to contribute?

And I guess it's kinda stupid
To think I'd be this person forever
Maybe it's my ego
I'll be so many people before I die

And I thought I had discovered
Something incredibly important
And now I'm feeling foolish
'Cause you already knew this
Yeah you already knew

That I'm nothing special
And knowing that don't make me special either
So what can I say to you
To make this song worth listening to?
Nothing, I'm just talking to myself here